Autism
Better communication with autism is a two-way street.
Misunderstandings between autistic and non-autistic people are often a mismatch, not a deficit on one side. Small changes help everyone.
Communication problems are often described as something autistic people need to fix. Research on the “double empathy problem” suggests a different picture: people with different communication styles can misread each other in both directions.
What the research suggests
In a 2020 study, information was passed along chains of eight people. Chains of all-autistic people passed on information as effectively as all-non-autistic chains; the mixed chains lost the most detail.[1] That points to a mismatch in styles rather than a one-sided deficit.
Habits that help
- Say the real request: “Please send this by Friday” is clearer than “It would be great if at some point…”
- Put important things in writing after a conversation.
- Allow processing time: a pause is not a refusal.
- Do not require eye contact as proof of listening.
- Ask about preferences: text or call? Agenda in advance? Camera on or off?
- Check meaning, not tone: “I want to make sure I understood—did you mean…?”
For autistic readers
You do not owe anyone constant masking. Sharing a short note about what helps you—without disclosing a diagnosis if you prefer—can reduce misunderstandings. Our support card tool can help you draft one.
Try one change this week.
Pick one habit—clearer requests, written follow-ups, or asking about preferences—and use it in your next conversation.
Make a support cardSources & context
Sources checked October 3, 2026. These links support this page; they do not imply an endorsement of NeuroCoach.
- Crompton et al. — Autistic peer-to-peer information transfer is highly effective, Autism 2020 Peer-reviewed study
- Autistic Self Advocacy Network Autistic-led organization