Low mood · for yourself or someone you support
When life feels unhappy: start with being heard
You do not need to defend your feelings or solve your whole life today. Feeling heard, having a little less to carry and finding the right support are useful places to begin.
A USEFUL STARTING POINT
Understand the pattern. Choose support that fits.
- Take “I hate my life” seriously without assuming you know what it means.
- Listen first. Offer a choice of company, practical help or quiet.
- If safety is uncertain, ask directly and connect with real-time help.
First, understand what they mean and whether they are safe
Try: “When you say life feels unbearable, what has been hardest?” Then ask directly: “Are you thinking about suicide?” Asking does not put the idea in someone's head.
If they are thinking about suicide, say you are glad they told you. Stay with them or arrange trusted company if safe, help reduce access to dangerous items if you can do so safely, and connect with crisis support. Do not promise secrecy or leave safety to a future outing.
In the U.S., call or text 988 or use the linked Lifeline chat. If there is immediate danger, an attempt, serious injury or overdose, call 911. If you are unsure what to do, contact 988 for guidance. You do not have to handle this alone.
Sources: NIMH: Five action steps to help someone having thoughts of suicide (opens a new tab)
Listen before offering solutions
These are suggested conversation phrases, not a script you have to get exactly right. Allow silence and time to answer; writing or texting may be easier than talking.
- Avoid comparisons, guilt, lectures or “you have so much to be grateful for.”
- Do not label distress as manipulation, attention-seeking or simply part of a diagnosis.
- For an adult, speak directly to them and ask permission before involving others, except when urgent safety requires action.
“That sounds really painful. I’m here to listen.”
Acknowledge the experience without arguing that life is actually good.
“Would company, practical help or some space feel best right now?”
Offer two choices if a long question feels overwhelming. Respect the answer while attending to safety.
“What would make the next hour a little less difficult?”
A smaller question can be easier than “What would make you happy?”
Offer one small, chosen activity
Low mood can make ordinary tasks feel large. The NHS recommends manageable targets and talking with someone you trust. Doing everything at once is not necessary.
Find the least demanding option
Offer sitting together, a familiar show, a drink or a few minutes by an open window. A person may want comfort before activity.
Make it easy to stop
Try “one song” or “a walk to the corner and back.” There is no requirement to finish, smile or report feeling better.
Arrange the next contact
Agree who will check in and when: “Would you like me to call after dinner?” Follow through rather than making an open-ended promise.
Sources: NHS: Low mood, sadness and depression (opens a new tab)
When to bring in a professional
Seek a clinician’s help when low mood, loss of interest, sleep or appetite changes, or difficulty functioning persist for around two weeks. Seek help sooner if symptoms are severe, worsening or daily care is becoming difficult; two weeks is not a waiting rule.
A primary-care or mental-health professional can help assess what is happening. Activities can accompany care, but they are not a treatment for depression or a substitute for assessment. For a child or teenager, involve a safe trusted adult and an appropriate pediatric or mental-health professional.
Sources: NIMH: My Mental Health—Do I Need Help? (opens a new tab)
Questions to take to a professional
Choose the questions that matter to you. Saving one does not send it to anyone.
Could depression, pain, sleep difficulties or another concern be contributing to this change?
What support is appropriate now, and what signs mean we should get urgent help?
Can we make a safety plan together with a qualified professional if needed?
Useful things to record—with permission
Keep this brief and purposeful. Notes belong in the person's private plan, not in a public discussion.
- The person's own words and what kind of support they want.
- Changes in sleep, eating, enjoyment and daily functioning to discuss with a clinician.
- Who will check in and the next agreed contact.